Your ceremony is the culmination of all your aspirations
and wedding plans.The
most sacred event of your lifetime.
Wouldn’t you like it be a personal and memorable
expression of your love for one another?
Every
detail of your wedding ceremony including your wedding
vows, the lectures and the music
should be just as you want it to be. Your ceremony will
reflect your commitment to each other and it should
also be a reflection of your personal tastes and lifestyle.
We
are the key that unlocks the door to your perfect wedding
day. We can help you in designing the ceremony of your
dream. We can perform the most elegant romantic or spiritual
civil ceremonies.
Your
wedding ceremony is a reflection of the feelings that
you and your partner have for each other as well as
your hopes and dreams for the future and our goal is
to give you a wedding ceremony you can treasure for
the rest of your life
This is a graphical overview of the ceremony arranged
in chronological order used for wedding planning. Many
options are listed, but there are far too many to be
used in any one ceremony.
I'll be glad to help you understand which options are
best for you. During our rehearsal, you'll learn how
to perform these options with confidence and grace.
- Your
guests are seated
- Escorting
the members of the family
- Entrance
of the groom and wedding officiant
- Entrance
of the bridal party
- Entrance
of the ringbearer and the flowergirl
- Entrance
of the bride
- The
opening commentary
- Reading
of Civil Code Articles
- Declaration
of intent
- The
asking for family support
- The
promises
- The
first reading
- The
exchange of vows
- Symbolic
ceremonies
- The
second reading
- Exchange
of rings
- Honoring
your heritage
- The
symbology of crystal
- Giving
roses to VIPs
- Taking
parental vows
- The
blessing tree
- In
memoriam
- Final
commentary
- Your
embrace and introduction
- Signature
of the wedding declaration
- Doves
or butterfly release
- Your
recessional walk
- Your
bridal party follows
- You
receive your guests
- The
music
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The
timely arrival of your guests is your first responsibility.
Your invitation may need to include an easy to
read map of where your ceremony and reception
are taking place and the easiest ways of getting
there. Music may be played but don't over-think
your selections. Ushers invite people to be seated
on the groom's or bride's side or whereever they
wish.
It’s better
to keep the seating of their guests close to
them during the ceremony, no more than six to
eight feet from the couple to the first row.
Closeness gives a strong sense of family and
invitation. Too much distance means guests will
neither hear your words nor see what you’re
doing.
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Having
an outdoor ceremony
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Wedding
Planning absolutely must include environmental
considerations- which are an integral part of
all wedding ceremonies. Ignore this and risk
disaster.
The
audience must be physically comfortable for
the duration of the ceremony. If your wedding is planned for late spring or early fall, you must keep in mind the possibility of rain, which may unfortunately put a damper on everyone’s disposition… same goes for extremely hot weather. By the same token, a wedding taking
place on a 103 degree August day will achieve
the exact same result.
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Your
guests will get the maximum enjoyment of your
wedding ceremony only when they are within a comfortable
environment. The more comfortable the audience
is the more they will be mentally present for
your ceremony.
Clearly
the best environment for a wedding ceremony is
a location with no audio or visual distraction.
An audience will always turn its attention to
the most entertaining event within eye sight.
When considering a setting for your ceremony always
ask yourself what will compete with you at that
location? A non-competitive environment will place
the audiences' attention completely on your ceremony.
Noise remove the focus of your audience, destroy
the audio portion of your video taping and create
a situation requiring the ceremony to stop.
You should avoid :
- Outdoor
ceremonies held too close to large airports,
roads or railroad tracks.
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Indoor air-conditioning or heating unit that
decides to kick on mid way through your ceremony.
- Outdoor
ceremonies when the ground keepers or next
door neighbors start up their lawn mowers.
The neighbours’ dog can be just as disturbing.
- Auto
rewind cameras that your guests have brought
and which now begin whirring away as they
rewind the film during your vows.
- Babies
or small children who begin crying and their
parents will not move them to the rear.
- Cell
phones.
If you are planning an outdoor ceremony you
must have a backup plan for rain. Typically,
couples having a large outdoor wedding and
reception will have rented tents for that
occasion. If it rains, the ceremony is moved
under the canvas. Other couples, in the event
of rain, will forget the outdoor setting and
have the ceremony at the waiting reception
site. Whatever your plans might be, if you're
having an outdoor wedding ceremony, you must
make plans for rain.
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Escorting
of the members of the family
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The entrance of close family members as they
are escorted to their seats is the first act of
a wedding ceremony. Generally, grandparents are
seated first, then step parents, followed by birth
parents. When the bride's mother is seated the
ceremony begins.
Ushers have many important roles
in wedding ceremonies and are highly recommended for weddings including twenty or more guests attending. Ushers perform at least four essential
functions in a wedding ceremony:
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Most
importantly, ushers escort parents and grandparents
to their seats. Even if a mother or grandmother
is with her husband, she would be escorted by
an usher to her seat and her husband follows her.
Do not use your ushers to escort all female guests
to their seats unless you are having a small wedding.
Ushering takes time
Ushers
deploy the aisle runner just before a bride walks
down the aisle to accentuate her entrance. Most
important of all, ushers tend to unforeseen problems
that come up during a ceremony and which require
immediate attention such as someone or something
creating noise. Ushers assist in exiting your
guests at the end of the ceremony by directing
them to your reception line in an orderly fashion.
Although
it is a nice touch, ushers do not need to be in
tux for the ceremony. Ushers should be at your
rehearsal session to learn about the many duties
required of them.
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Entrance
of the groom and celebrant
If
you choose to ask the officiant to walk
down the aisle, the officiant will enter
alone and be followed by the future husband.
Otherwise, the celebrant and the future
husband will not make any official entry
and will stand where the ceremony will
take place to wait for the future wife. |
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Entrance
of the bridal party
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I
encourage couples to have their grooms men escort
their ladies (bridesmaids) to their places, each
Best men then congratulates the groom in front
of the on looking audience before taking his place.
This action connects each best men to the groom,
and accentuates the elegance of your ceremony. |
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Entrance
of the ringbearer and the flowergirl
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There
are roles for children of all ages in my ceremonies-
from 6 months to 12 years. These little ones can
play the traditional roles of ring bearer or flower
girl, or can herald the bride's entrance as a
bell ringer.
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The ceremony's first emotional high point as
all eyes turn toward the bride making her entrance.
You have many choices on how you enter your
ceremony.
Enter
with an usher
The
honour of escorting the bride into the ceremony
is of course her decision and she may choose
to enter in any number of ways. For example,
a bride may enter:
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Escorted
by her father and/or mother.
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Escorted
by her father and step father.
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Escorted
by her children.
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Escorted
by close friend(s) in lieu of absent or deceased
family members.
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Escorted
by her groom. In other words the couple walks
down the aisle together.
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Unescorted.
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Your
entrance can be an opportunity to show gratitude
toward someone very special in your life by giving
them the honour of escorting you down the aisle.
Protecting your
entrance
The
bride most protected here entrance by staying
out of view all throughout the gathering and seating
of her guests. As a bride who intends to really
impress her guests, she is usually expected to keep out of sight until she makes her glorious entrance. If
you have an outdoor wedding you can stay in the
limo until the last minute. Most brides will not
allow their grooms to see them before they walk
down the aisle. This absolutely applies to your
guests as well.
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Entering with roses
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As the bride makes her way to the front of the room, two or three aisle-side guests. When she reaches
her place among the bridal party she will pass
these roses to her Maid of Honour. A bride could also add these roses to her bouquet. These
same roses will be used later in the ceremony
during the presentation of roses to mothers or
placed in an act of memoriam in honour of deceased loved ones.
Accepting aisle
side roses from guests shows the connectedness
of the bride to her guests as well as allowing
them to symbolically contribute to hers.
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Arriving by carriage
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A coach offers a more dramatic entrance of a bride
and the recession of the bride and groom at
the ceremony's end. The person escorting the
bride down the aisle typically rides with her
as she makes her approach. The carriage usually
pulls up to the base of the center aisle and
the bride, assisted by her escort or others,
steps out of the coach.
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The
bride should step out of the carriage on the side opposite
the audience. This is because exiting a coach can be
difficult or awkward looking. The carriage, between
you and the audience, will block any view of this. Once
the bride has stepped out and her bridal train positioned
behind her and escort by her side, she is ready to make
her entrance. The audience is asked to rise, the carriage
pulls away, and a beautiful bride begins her walk down
the aisle.
At
the ceremony's conclusion, the carriage takes position
once again at the base of the center aisle. The bride
and groom walk down the aisle after their introduction,
perhaps with guests blowing bubbles or lofting flower
petals. The groom offers his hand as his lady enters
the carriage with him then joining her. The carriage
then pulls away taking the couple ultimately out of
sight of their guests. A fairy tale ending to a beautiful wedding ceremony
Arriving by Limousine
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Its tinted windows protect
you from your paparazzi guests curiously trying
to get an early glimpse of you
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Entering on a Horse
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Ideally,
when the future wife arrives on horseback, the
rein will be held by the escort. Once
the horse has arrived in front of the red carpet,
the escort helps the future bride to come down
from the horse and begins with her the wedding
march.
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The
celebrant will speak to you from amongst
your guests, allowing every member of your
audience to see and feel this moment with
you, while your photographer and videographer
have unprecedented access to you and your
bridal party.
Facing
your guests
I
recommend to the bride and groom to face
their guests for many reasons. Your audience
gets to see and hear you. Your voices will
project into the audience. Your wedding
photography will improve dramatically. The
officiant can stand with you and at other
times stand among your guests where he can
be seen and heard. You become the focal
point of your wedding ceremony, not your
minister.
Positioning
the Bridal Party
The
outside shoulder of the bride and groom
should lean slightly forward toward the audience.
This pose is called "quartered out"-
a stage term.
Facing
your guests with your bridal party supporting
you in this fashion, is entertaining, functional,
and makes for unbeatable wedding imagery.
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Declaration of Intent is the of question that's
asked of the bride and groom affirming their intention
to marry. Each in turn responds- "I Do."
The Declaration Of Intent is the 'Mission Statement'
of a wedding ceremony. |
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To
ask your family members and your friends
to support you in your future life is
an excellent way of making them take part
in your wedding ceremony. |
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Many
couples wish to insert into their wedding ceremony a unique series of heart-felt
promises and it is with the greatest pleasure
that we will respect this request. |
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The
Reading of the Civil Codes
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reading of the Civil Code of Quebec is an essential
element of all civil marriage ceremonies.
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Readings
is a wonderful way to personalize your wedding
ceremony and a special way to make your dearest
parents and friends participate in your dream
day. Those readings can be chosen among the texts
samples of the officiant or writes by the hand
of the person who will read them. Those readings
will be in your ceremony a personal touch of
pure emotion
Readings
are very effective at developing a sense of contribution
from your audience as well as creating a photo
opportunity for your wedding album.
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The
readers
Seeing
a member of the audience come forward and give a reading
gives your guests a sense of contribution. Just as importantly,
readers also show connectedness between the bride and
groom and their guests. For this reason the person or
persons reading should come from the audience, not the
bridal party, as the bridal party is already participating
in the ceremony.
If
two readers are used, let one come from the bride's side
and the other, from the groom's side of the family. After giving a reading, the
reader hugs both the bride and groom.
Readings
can be as short as four sentences but should not be
too long. The readings may be abstract and poetic
or very direct in their meanings. They may come from
whatever source you deem appropriate- religious, literary
etc. If the brides' or grooms' guests speaks English
as a second language, consider giving one of the readings
in their primary language. You honour them and their
culture in doing this.
Readings
are a wonderful way of establishing connectedness with
your audience.
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wedding vows are some of the most powerful words
you'll ever speak and your wedding vows will be
remembered forever! You want them to touch your
mate's heart as it's never been touched before;
Personalized
vows that come from the heart can reaffirm the
themes of love, joy, fidelity, and respect that
are so meaningful to you.
Adding
your own views and thoughts of your love and of
your future life together, will give a touching
intimacy to your ceremony. Your own words can
be more meaningful than any other.
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exchange of vows is an oath of fidelity. I will
lead you through your exchange of vows by having
you repeat small groups of words- there is nothing
to memorize. You are also invited to share your own
created vows with each other, if you wish to do so.
Couples may repeat their vows after me, may read
them to each other from script, or may speak them
ad lib.
Writing
your own vows
I
invite those of you so inclined to write your
own vows if you wish. Composing your own vows
is a wonderful option available to all of my couples.
Writing
your own vows not only gives you the opportunity
to share exactly the right words and sentiments
with your lover, but also allows you to say them
in the narrative. In other words you could tell
the story of your love for him/her and conclude
it with your vow of fidelity. And don't worry
if your not a poet- your guests will score you
highest for your sincerity and for the courage
of having done this before them.
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Exchange
of vows and rings by candlelight
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is no more romantic exchange of vows and rings
than by the milky glow of candles held by your
guests who have gathered around you! Your ceremony
must be in the evening or in a room that can close
out ambient sun light.
Congregational
candles are thin, pencil-like candles, and are
placed on each seat before the ceremony begins.
A book of matches is placed on every other seat
to facilitate lighting.
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mid-ceremony, just prior to the exchange of the
vows and rings, I will ask your guests to light
their congregational candles and to come gather
closely around the two of you. Ushers may facilitate
the lighting of these candles. The lights are
dimmed out, and the bride and groom exchange their
vows and rings under the milky glow of the candlelight. The candles are used for about a five minute
period, not the entire ceremony. You can imagine
how romantic this is and how remarkable your wedding
becomes if you use this option! After the exchange
of vows and rings, guests return to their seats
and lighting is returned.
Congregational
candles are best used in indoor facilities where
no daylight can reach the ceremony area. They
can also be used after dusk (if outdoors) and
in that application would be used for the entire
ceremony.
If using congregational candles tell your photographer
that he/she needs to prepare for a low light situation
and will probably need to bring high speed film |
Symbolic
ceremonies to add to your wedding ceremony
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These
ceremonies are unique and a meaningful addition
to any wedding ceremony.
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Unity
Candle ceremony
One
says that of every human being springs a light
which goes up to the sky. When two lives are intended
for each other, the one for the other these rays of light join
to give to the sky a magnificent brightness.
The
unity candle symbolizes this old legend. Two taper
candles, representing the couple as individuals,
are used to light a single center candle as a
visible symbol of their commitment to each other.
Typically,
at the very beginning of the ceremony before the
bridal party makes its approach, mothers are asked
to light the taper candles on behalf of their
son and daughter. After having lit the taper candles
they embrace each other. This is a wonderful gesture
and shows the mothers- and by extension their
families- are delighted in the union of the bride
and groom.
Unity
candles are not indicative of any religion and
are used by all faiths. You do not need an "official"
unity candle set either. Any candles will do,
though usually they are a pillar candle and two
taper candles or pillars. Unity Candles may be
used outdoors when protected by a hurricane glass.
But
most importantly, it is the visual and dramatic
opportunities that Unity Candles afford that explain
why I strongly endorse them. Every word that has
been or will be said in their ceremony is now
being visually portrayed for the audience. There
are no stronger images in wedding ceremonies than
this.
Unity
Candle also give you a strong important, proactive role
in your wedding.
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ceremony of 'hands united'
Hand holding expresses friendship, mutual
aid, love. This ceremony reveals the importance
to be present for each other one in all
the aspects of life to create a loving home.
The ceremony of hands bound
Marriage is a commitment of the
heart and the body. The wrists of the fiancé
will be bound with a beautiful ribbon representing
the link of love which will unite them henceforth
heart to heart and body to body
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The
Infinity Ceremony
This tradition is usually associated with Hispanic
and Filipino families.
Just before the exchange of the wedding vows a string of beads or a white ribbon is placed around
the bride and groom's shoulders in the shape of , the infinity symbol, to symbolize their
everlasting union.
This is usually done by the officiant, however,
family members can also take part in this ritual.
The couple wears the lasso throughout the remainder
of the service.
The rosary beads can be replaced by a white veil.
The Veil is placed over the shoulders of the Groom
and the shoulders or head and shoulders of the
Bride. The veil is removed right after the exchange
of the vows.
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circle formed by the ring is the symbol of the sun
and the earth and the universe, of wholeness and
perfection, and peace and love. It is worn on
the third finger, because of an ancient Greek
belief that a vein from that finger goes directly
to the heart.
These
rings mark the beginning of a long journey together.
They are the outward and visible sign of an inward
and spiritual bond which unites two loyal hearts
in endless love. It is a seal of the vows the
groom and the bride have made to one another.
The exchange of the rings is a symbolic gesture
that you can personalise by choosing the words
that will be said to one another.
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Two
readers are ideal for most ceremonies.
One reader is associated with the bride,
the other the groom. If you or your family
speak a second language, let that reading
be in that language. You do not need to
provide an English interpretation for
the reading. The beauty of the language
will speak for itself.
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The
wine ceremony represents the common
cup of life, the mutual sharing
that stands out with a life of harmony.
An elegant and contemporary alternative
to lighting a Unity Candle is to
engage in wine or champagne sharing
before your guests. In wedding planning
effective imagery is essential for
your ceremony. Great wedding ceremonies
join the bride and groom visually,
not just verbally. Imagery will
always be more effective than wording
in a wedding ceremony. For this
reason the use of a unity candle,
or wine sharing or the symbolic
use of crystals followed by the
presentation of roses to female
VIPs are indispensable to a great
wedding.
At
mid-ceremony, after the exchange
of vows and rings, the groom pours
wine or champagne for his lady and
himself. After this, they may present
roses to their mothers or other
VIP females if that option is used.
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Another
contemporary alternative to the
Unity Candle is the joining of crystals.
The bride and groom each receive
some crystalline element such as
salt, sand or crystals from the
VIPs of the first row. Together,
the bride and groom will join this
element in a common receiver such
as a vase. This implies- once joined,
never separated.
Symbology
and imagery are far more effective
in dramatizing the joining of your
lives before guests than words and
concepts. For this reason, in planning
their weddings, couples of all faiths
have been using Unity Candles for
the last couple of decades to do this
dramatizing. Another option gaining
popularity with my couples is Wine
Sharing. A third and equally beautiful
sentiment or dramatization is the
Symbolic Use of Crystals.
Parents
and other VIPs will each have a
small vile of some crystalline element
such as salt, sand, colored sand,
or some other attractive material
that you've come up with. After
the empowerment of the exchange
of the vows and rings the bride
and groom approach the front row
VIPs who will contribute this element
to the couple with soft music playing.
Parents could contribute to their
son or daughter, or to both. Contributors
could include others such as grand
parents or close friends but the
number of contributors should not
exceed six (three per side).
The
bride and groom return to center
stage and join their respective
crystals to a common vase. This
implies- once joined, never separated.
Using the Symbology of Crystals
has it own advantages. Unlike the
Unity Candle, crystals are never
affected by wind. Wine sharing,
though very elegant, doesn't provide
an opportunity for parents or other
VIPS to contribute to the couple
ceremonially as does either the
Unity Candle or the use of Crystals.
So each has it advantages and all
are elegant and should play a central
roll in the symbolic joining of
your lives before your guests.
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Honoring
your heritage
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are many beautiful ways of honoring your faith
or heritage during a wedding ceremony. Doing so
honors you and your attending family members as
well.
If
you or your future spouse has an ethnic identity
then by all means proudly show it. If you or your
families speak a second language, then one or
both of the readings used during your ceremony
should be in that language. There's no need to
provide an interpretation in English or French
the beauty of the language will speak for itself.
African
American couples used the oldest American wedding
tradition 'Jumping the Broom,' while couples having
a Scottish background entered, and exited, with
a bagpiper preceding them.
Be proud to honour yourselves, your families and
your heritage by bringing to your ceremony the
beautiful accents of word, song, dress and tradition
that have made you who you are
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event in a wedding ceremony causes such riveted
attention to a bride and groom as does the presentation
of roses to mothers. Many people feel indebted
to their families- especially their parents. If
this is so with you, then what better time to
say thank you in a special way than during your
wedding ceremony? Presenting your mom a rose during
the ceremony shows both gratitude and respect
for the major contribution your parents made to
your life. Roses may also be presented to any
person you wish to honour and express gratitude
toward such as grandparents, sisters or daughters.
The
bride and groom will approach the brides’
parents first. Always take your time when presenting
roses, nothing reduces the effect more than quickness.
Parents should always rise at the approach of
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Often
marriage is thought of as the joining of two people.
In reality, marriage joins many lives. This is
most apparent when the bride and/or groom have
children. With children present, marriage becomes
the proclaiming of a new family. And without a
loving commitment to those children, a wedding
ceremony is incomplete.
As
your lives change on wedding day, so do those
of your children. Why not honour them by taking
a vow or parental commitment to raise them in
a healthy, loving environment? If you wish, you
can follow this by giving them a family medallion
or similar gift to remind them of this day.
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presentation of a family medallion is
just one of many ways of honouring your
children during the ceremony. Speaking
to them on bent knee or at their level
and assuring your love, gives them peace
of mind as well. Their lives change with
yours on your wedding day.
In
the ceremony proper, a bride and groom
take an oath to each other (the exchange
of vows). A similar oath can be taken
with children as well.
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The
blessing tree
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For
couples wanting to bring nature into their ceremony
and a means of contribution from their guests,
the Blessing Tree is a novel option.
A
blessing tree is a sapling no more than shoulder
height. At mid ceremony, after the exchange of
vows and rings, parents are invited to come up
and affix a 'blessing' to the tree. Actually,
it needs not be a 'blessing,' it could be poetry, a
personal note, a religious passage, a quotation
etc. Having affixed their 'blessings' to the tree,
the parents embrace the bride and groom.
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Blank cards will be placed at each table setting
at the reception venue. Every guest will have an
opportunity to affix their own note to the tree
as well. By evenings' end the tree is covered with
the loving sentiments of the guests. The
blessing tree is planted some time after the honeymoon
and is a nice ceremony option for a couple who
will be buying a home, perhaps their first, though
this needs not be the case. Those who love nature
will tell you that planting a tree is always a
good thing as long as it in an appropriate place.
When planted at the newlywed’s home, the tree remains a living memory of their wedding day. As it matures it
will shade them and their home, its changing colors
marking the seasons as well, and its beauty reminding
them of the love and well wishes their of guests
once borne on its branches
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Many
friends and family have contributed so much
to your lives- not just the parents present
whom you have honoured with the giving of
roses. If appropriate to you, you can honour
these loved ones who have passed away by
a beautiful act in memoriam.
You
can watch a photo montage along with your
guests which will honour loved ones who have
passed away. This is an act in memoriam
and there are many such ways of honouring
friends and family who have passed away.
I once met a groom whose mother had died at an early age. As I got to know him better, it became clear to me that he still missed her deeply. His ceremony would
have been incomplete to him if he had not
honoured her in some way. I suggested he
do this by pausing his ceremony after the
exchanges of vows and rings, and cast a
rose from a bridge over a nearby stream
in her memory. It was the perfect gesture.
In
wedding planning honouring loved ones, usually
immediate family or close friends, can be
done in a number of ways. Another example
; during their ceremony, candles can be
lit on behalf of the loved ones who have
passed away and the ceremony paused in silence
or you could lay a rose at the base of each
picture just after the bride and groom presented
roses to mothers. Or, you can simply place
photos of those to be honoured in an appropriate,
highly visible place, such as by the Unity
Candle, but not to involve the photos any
further in the ceremony. Finally, you can
upon walking down the aisle at the ceremony's
beginning, place a rose on a front row vacant
chair and then take your place for the start
of the ceremony.
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| I'll
speak to, and make eye contact with every member
of your audience, while you become the focal point
of your ceremony- not your minister. Hundreds
of guests have told me what a difference this
made for them, many saying...
"That's
the first time I have ever been spoken to in a
wedding ceremony."
|
Your
embrace and introduction
|
| Your
guests will erupt in applause as the two of you
embrace for the first time as husband and wife. |
|
Doves
or butterfly release
|
| Bird
and butterfly releases accentuate the beginning
of your married life in a very photogenic way.
You can also have your immediate family gather
around you for the big release
Butterflies
offer their own unique advantage. Whereas an audience
watches a dove release, an audience participates
in a butterfly release. First, the guests are
invited to come and gather around the both of
you, then the minister or a close friend gives
a special reading followed by the instruction
to release the butterflies. Imagine the surprise
as your guests, open a box to reveal a beautiful
butterfly. |
|
|
The sound of a collective gasp as the butterflies
takes flight. The sight of the sky filling with
color and activity- the memory of that moment-
always associated with the two of you.
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